Trains & Automobiles

Won't be too long now, and I'll be in Colorado, hugging trees and riding cog trains. We have already scheduled a train ride to the top of Pikes Peak, and I am looking forward to it. I am also curiously excited about the meals we will be having, prepared by our guest vacationer and avid hunter, Jabella. I'm not sure if it's even possible, but eating elk and muskrat every day might wear out my trusty taste buds. Maybe he'll mix it up and serve up some chipmunk croquettes or bear skin tartlettes.

So much fun to be had! But first, a day full of fall designs, joyful smiles, hugs and Chris-quotes. Does the fun ever start?!? Yesss.

Gettin' his Guns Up

You are looking at the largest hand in the world, though it's from a rare condition called macrodactyly. It does appear that he is either supporting the great Texas Tech University (Go Red Raiders) or he is showing us how the shocker is really done.

Either way, he had surgery to fix his crazy hand, so he's just normal hand guy now. He can wear gloves and stuff now, and his high-fives don't knock people down. Yay for Handy!

Strong Winds?

Pretty clever. Pants that withstand even the strongest toots.
Must be Lycra. (insert Chris noise here...)

H-O-T

Teeth jewelery. Human teeth jewelery, from a dental clinic in China. I don't have any other details, but I picture that clinic looking like a scene out of Jacob's Ladder. Something tells me the Hot Topic kids are going to be all over this. Just a hunch.

It's the perfect height!

Check it out, a VW Bus made into a pool table:

The owner paid $8,000 for this Ohio-plated Volkswagen pool table bus with integrated storage area for balls and other supplies beneath its engine flap.

It's cute, kitschy and has a storage area for balls. :)

My Mornings (the video)

I told you my mornings were crazy. And yes, I used to have
darker hair, and speak French. Get to know me.

Dan's Weekend Job

Gotta make that paper.

Toilet Fish Tank

Finally, someone discovered a way to make going to the bathroom less boring! I will have to find something else to wish for when I blow out my birthday candles.

Liquid Kiss

The name of the sculpture is 'Yuanyang II', by Tsang Cheung-shing, a ceramic art tutor and product designer. Beautiful and clever, to say the least.

Creepshow Redux

Mark Voegel, 30, was found dead in his Dortmund, Germany apartment. His body was draped in spider webs and more than 200 spiders, several snakes, thousands of termites, and a gecko were feasting on his corpse. Proper authorities were alerted when concerned neighbours noticed a horrendous stench emanating from the apartment.

His black widow, Bettina, is believed to have administered the deadly bite.

Voeger's apartment has been described as both a "zoo" and a "jungle" by authorities. He never let people visit.

A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa. Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth. There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles. Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”

The spiders and termites managed to escape when the heating elements exploded and opened the lids to their tanks. The lizards were allowed to roam.

Voegel also kept a pet boa constrictor and several poisonous frogs.

He was dead for somewhere between seven and fourteen days when his corpse was found. Enough time for the creepy-crawlies to make a new home out of his apartment.

I wonder if he heard 'Dream Weaver' playing softly, as the lizards and spiders had their way with him? Inappropriate, my bad.
Good song though.

Stretching with Kermit

Miss Piggy must be stressing him out...
If you need to get your stretch on, let Kermie show you some of his best froggy-style moves. I might have to try these at work.

Damone's 5 Point Plan

"When it comes down to makin' out, whenever possible,
put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV."

Sweet, Clean Grubes

Click here to see Grubes' drop page.
(watch the pic above for a few seconds before scrolling down)

Michael Vick is a Tool, with Brains...

I hope he never plays in another NFL game. Maybe he ought to be dropped in a pen with a very hungry Mike Tyson, so he can get a taste of what he put those dogs through. Justice served.

I Heart A/C!

I am so happy that we have A/C now, that I wanted to post some super cuddle-ishous, expialadocious photos just for you. All three of you, the most loyal readership in all of blog land. (At least I think so)
Stay classy.
- xoxo

Blame Poltergeist

Here's a woman who, from the looks of it, must have witnessed extreme clown violence in her younger years. She can't even go to the circus! To help with her therapy, Mr. Giggles is called in. Poor guy just wants to teach people how to make animal balloons and he has to deal with this nut bag. Jeez Louise.

On a side note, it's fun(ny) to imagine that instead of 'clown', the therapist is saying 'your boss'. It works. Bosses are funny.

Cuter than a Bunny Sneeze

The Wonders of Photoshop

It's nice to know that celebrities don't always look flawless, though they are closer than most of us. Here is a great retoucher site that shows just how manipulated some magazine photos really are. I think most of the celebrities featured look pretty good in their original shots, but it's funny to see what is added on to, thinned out, brightened and lifted, for starters. My personal fave is the Eva Longoria photo. I've never seen a photo where the retoucher had to add weight on, though they did narrow her waist and lift her breastesses. Lucky.

Hot in Herre

I hadn't really noticed how hot it had gotten in our fair burg, until my car battery died Friday after work. I endured the heat waiting for Erik to get there, because Enose was on, and I love me some Corby. Once I finished working on my base tan, we went to get a new battery, and after some odd Wal-Mart customer service math, I walked out with a $36 battery that only cost me $14. Score.

Saturday morning, 7am, Erik asks the question that can only mean bad things: "Is it hot in here to you?" On the second attempt to flip the breaker to the failed A/C unit, it catches on fire. After some fun phone drama, the fire department is called, several voice mail messages are left for the useless property management company, followed by a personal visit to their offices to get the ball rolling, or their heads, whichever came first.

A/C guy shows up, and tells us that Monday morning we'll have a spankin' new air conditioner. He is now my favorite guy named Wayne. So, we packed up the kittones and our shizz, and spent the weekend at Erik's parents. We had some good times, made a trip to the ghetto spectacular, known as Hurst, to have a little B-day partay for my Mom. It was good times all around. Now it's Monday, the A/C is all fixed, and life is back to abnormal.

What Jägermeister Can Will Do

Police in Walkerton, Ontario had a surprising encounter with a suspected drunk driver on the holiday weekend when he refused to take a breath test.

A 19-year-old man was sitting in his car with the lights off on a country road in the early hours of the morning and when an officer tried to administer a breath analysis, the suspect drank the fluid from his contact lens case and ate one of his contact lenses. He then attempted to eat portions of his shirt and socks.

When officers tried to remove his clothing, a scuffle broke out and the suspect was subdued with pepper spray. When placed in a holding cell, he put his head in the toilet and refused to provide a breath sample.

He is scheduled to appear in court on Oct. 9; his name has not been released.